mori has a tumblr

to you know who

you are a cold heartless bitch and i hate you and i will hate you for the rest of my fucking life. you used me for your own personal gains and then tossed me aside when you didn’t need me anymore, leaving me with just a broken heart and depression that yes, YOU caused. i lied to you! but i am trying to get closure, trying to get these feelings out of my mind so i can heal.

and so i will tell you that you are a horrible person and i deeply regret ever meeting you, and i wish you would just get out of my mind forever. but i cant, and you know why? because you built it fucking into me, with all the shit you put me through. you don’t even know half of it- don’t know what all you even did, and you never will. because you just don’t care, and you never did, not for a second. and you never loved me.

you did want me, though. as someone to take out all your frustrations on. and you may even fucking dare to say that i did the same thing? but i was fucking normal, and all my frustrations were caused by you.

i hate you more than anyone else in my life right now. you tossed me out, called me a bitch and told me to never talk to you- and why? because i didn’t want to talk to you at three in the morning, on a school night, when i had to be up in 4-5 hours, while you’re at the airport with your ex whom i am deeply terrified of and who sends me into fucking panicking when i think about him. and i’m the bitch. i didn’t want to talk, i couldn’t talk, but no- i’m a bitch.

fuck you.

i am so fucking angry.

anger

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you

what the fuck did i ever see in such a fucking heartless bitch like you

god i feel so fucking used

alright!

you know what? i’m fine.

well, no, i’m not 100% fine yet. still depressed. but you know what? i’m hopeful. i’m going to get better. i’m going to be just fine. i’ll ride out this wave and i’ll find someone who really wants me around, and i’m going to go to college and learn even more and i’m going to really do well now.

…IT’D HELP IF MARY WOULD GO RUNNING AT THE NAT WITH ME THOUGH. >:I cos i don’t want to go to the rec, awkwarddddd. eh… maybe they have a running track n i could get grom to go with me if it was cheap enough… although the thought of running before/after class = major no. XP ah well.

but right now! i am going to play a little more pokemon diamond (I BEAT CYNTHIA LAST NIGHT FUCK YEAH FINALLY) and then i am going to sleep! and going to hopefully sleep off this cold so i can make it to class tomorrow!!! \o/ …and then move.

also 91.3 is fucking smooth this late at night, wtf is this this is fucking awesome

running

cool. there’s another side i can’t go now. THANKS A WHOLE FUCKING LOT.

whatever, no biggie. just was trying to fucking make friends. what the fuck ever. fuck. fuck. fuck.

FUCK.

no biggie, ill just go somewhere else. find a different place to draw and shit. WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

i fucking hate you. and if you’re reading this and think that its you THEN YEAH, IT FUCKING IS. don’t fucking read this ever again.

fuck. whatever. shouldn’t be fucking upset, i’m the bitch in this, right??? fuck my life. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. i hate you and you fucking know damn well why.

fuck, what the fuck is my life right now.

okay, enough screaming and venting to myself, i’ve got shit to do.

emopost #9351

i feel like im on a timer, almost. like the times been ticking down for a while and any second it could end? its a strange feeling… my idea of the future’s fading away, i think. i can’t really imagine myself doing anything- the blue room seems to be the only thing left. thought i had escaped, but… i guess its just been hiding.

or i was good at deluding myself?

i guess this is my sort of wailing wall here- plan to take this to the doctors when/if i ever go. ive got a pretty good idea of why im like this, though… ah well.

i dont want to kill myself, but i dont think id mind dying so much anymore. its not like i do anything, anyways- just lying around mainly. i woke up at like 8 today n didnt really get out of bed, get dressed till 3… no motivation to do anything anymore. its sick- im sick. but i dont know what else i can do to fix it. it seems rather imminent… nothing’s gonna change. no one is going to want me anymore- not when im like this.

tick, tick, tick….